Wednesday, November 13, 2013

A NaNoWriMo Experience; In the Limelight: Author Sai Marie Johnson

In October I signed up for NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month
I decided to write something completely different than usual, and came up with a totally new concept for a story called, the Softer Side of Texas, which is now for sale on Amazon in book Kindle and Paperback editions.
NaNoWriMo was so much fun, and I was really ecstatic to take part in it, and meet the 50,000 word target in twelve days. I am hoping that everyone enjoys my NaNo Novel as much as I did writing it, and this is a short self interview for your enjoyment:
What genre is the Softer Side of Texas?
To be honest when I first started writing The Softer Side.. I thought it was going to work out to be a romance novel very Harlequin styled, but as it progressed the book took on its own path, and it ended up being somewhat of a mystery crime thriller with a romantic undertone. I suppose that would make it a Romantic Suspense.
How many words did you write a day to reach the 50k mark?
I stuck between 2,500 and 3,500 for the first three days, but then the characters just seemed to come to life, and I started writing 5,000 to 8,000 words for the remaining days thereafter. I think the most I wrote was 8,000 in a day.
What is the main character’s name, and tell us some about it?
Her name is Ivanka Renee` Jessup. She’s a blonde country girl with an attitude, but with really good moral values, and a high sense of integrity.
Who is the romantic interest?
His name is Aaron Kyle Kilpatrick, and he is a rugged handsome type. Very gentlemanly, but knows how to handle himself in situations where some dominance is needed.
Where do you see the book going?
This was a once only novel, and I do not intend on writing anything else about these two characters, but it is my first full length novel, and for that I am calling it my first masterpiece.
Where can the book be purchased?
As stated above it can be found on Amazon for now, but it will soon be available on many other book sites, and stores. Just keep checking my FB page, and you will know the day it becomes available on the other vendor sites.
Is this your last attempt at NaNo?
Definitely not. I can see myself coming back again next year. I really enjoyed doing this. It gave me the opportunity to see how much I could do if I applied myself. That is invaluable to a writer.

Friday, November 8, 2013

My Hopes

Do you ever think that you really love your spouse, but they are never going to be the image of what you first thought they were? Do you ever look at your life, and wonder if you are the only person who really wants more out of it, and think that your partner may have been perfect at one time, but is now a distant roommate that you care deeply for, but feel like has no ambition while you are a person who has what may be considered too much ambition? 

Sometimes I feel like there isn't a person on this planet who understands me, or ever could. There was a time I thought that it may have been possible for someone to, but through the years it seems to me that may not be the case. Before I went into college I sat my family down, and I told them all that this was a very serious matter. That it would be a complete change in what happened daily. I explained to them they would have more responsibility. That I would have less, and less time to be a stay at home mother who cooks, cleans, does laundry, washes dishes, grocery shops, and just does whatever a family needs a mother to do.

The truth of the matter is I love my family, but I have never enjoyed the domestics of being a wife, and mother. I spent seven years in a terrible marriage to a terrible person, and had three kids out of that relationship. When I left I got a taste of freedom that I really loved. I lived my life, and did what I wanted to do. I worked, and cared for my daughter. I enjoyed that. I liked having that kind of independence, but I missed having a friend, or companion to spend my days with. 

I met my husband a year after I left my ex. He was great. He was a soldier, he had ambitions. He had something to make him feel like he was a man, and I really appreciated that. I really respected him, and I really loved the soul inside of him. Jerry, and I got married a year and three months later. I feel let down in a lot of ways, and he has changed a lot. I've tried to be supportive many times. I have tried to be what I thought he wanted, but I am starting to feel like maybe I am not wife material. Maybe the problem rests in me, and not him. Maybe my expectations of what a man, father, and husband should be are more than he can give. I love him, but I feel that every time I ask him for anything he gets upset. If I say he is doing something wrong he argues. He never wants to fix the problem, and he takes shots at me for wanting to be a writer. He says I haven't done anything, but I look at my likes, fans, sales, and successes and I think does nobody see what I have done here? Does nobody understand that I realized that I was the only one who could make my family's life better? 

The sacrifice that the cost is less family time. Less chances to be the stay at home mom. Less chances to be able to be Betty Crocker, or June Cleaver. Does this mean there is something wrong with me? Does this mean I am not the kind of woman that people think I should be? All I want is my family to see my struggles, and understand my position. I want my husband to find ambition, and goals again. I want him to be the man I believed he was, and still do. Sometimes I feel like maybe that will never happen. Sometimes I feel like I will continue to climb this ladder, and lose my relationship with my best friend in the process. Why can't I have a relationship, and family like other authors do? With husbands who support their work, work hard to keep the house together, and the family straightened out. I am trying so hard, and nobody understands. The reward in this is what I can give to my kids, and to him. In the end nobody gets the truth about me.

I carry DMD. My life expectancy is 40 years. This is a fact. I am going to be thirty in seven months. That means I have a decade to get this right, and leave my children, and Jerry something that amounts to a decent life when i am gone. Life doesn't hold much for me. I don't want anything, but to publish these books, and give my family the dividends. Then I want to pass on, and meet my Maker. I want to be free from a life that has been filled with pain, and very few good memories. I want to be with God, and leave them with my legacy. I wish that people could understand me. I wish that they could see what it is I really desire most. I pray God will answer my deepest heart's desire. I have a decade. I hope I get it right. I hope that everything I have done gives them the life they can finally be happy with.